Alice was dreading the steady approach of winter. The cooler air and golden, earthy colours of Autumn, at first a relief from the humidity of a Manhattan summer, were now proving difficult to enjoy while catastrophe lay just around the corner (or, rather, just a few pages of the calendar away). Alice's intense sense of dread was not due to a dislike of frigid temperatures and biting winds, or a distaste for itchy, dry, flaky skin, or even because of the way everything became so much more of a chore during the colder months. No; instead it had absolutely everything to do with the ducks.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Transcript of a recorded conversation between Minty Fitzpatrick and unknown bartender
THURSDAY, 12 FEBRUARY 2009, 2138
BARTENDER: What’ll it be?
MINTY FITZPATRICK [slurring]: You got any decent men back there?
BT [forces laugh]: Just myself, m’am.
MF [laughs, flirtatiously]: You’ve got a nice tight little arse too.
[BT laughs uncomfortably]
MF: Can I ‘ave a wine? The most ‘spensive you got.
BT: The most expensive? Red or white?
MF [bangs counter]: That’s what I said!
[Pause, assume bartender is preparing drink]
MF: Thanks.
BT: That’s eight pounds, M’am.
MF: Ha! Eight pounds. Good thing it’s on Mike. Here.
BT [pause]: M’am, this credit card is under the name “Michael Montclair”.
MF: Mm?
BT: M’am, you’re not Michael Montclair.
MF: Oh, but I am you see. I am Michael Montclair. Sometimes. Sometimes I’m Minty Fitzpatrick too. And sometimes I’s Danielle Anderson. It all depends, it all depends [hiccups] on who’s got money on their card! [laughs uproariously] Here, would you rather Danielle’s? She’s always good for the dough!
BT: M’am? Are you–? I’m not sure I under-
[A mobile phone rings – quite a distinctive ring tone.]
MF: S**t! [rustles bag, something falls to the floor, chair scrapes]
BT: M’am? M’am! Where are you going? M’am!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Federal Police File S87092 [CLASSIFIED]
Subject: “Minty” Fitzpatrick
Age: late twenties
Date of birth: 16 April [unknown year]
Place of birth: Santiago, Chile [unverified]
Appearance: varies dramatically
Known associates: Michael Montclair (FPF V29763)
Last known location: Granada, Spain
Confirmed criminal activity: Subject has been convicted of several instances of petty theft, one of car theft, and possession of an illegal substance (marijuana). Subject has never served a prison sentence, but has undertaken community service as outlined in the attached pages.
Unconfirmed criminal activity: Subject was alleged to be involved in a large scale smuggling operation running out of Minsk, Belarus between 2002 and 2004. Subject was further alleged to have been involved in a covert plot to overthrow the Bulgarian government by assassinating several key ministers, in 2004. In 2006, subject was accused of embezzlement by employer at the time NHQ. There is insufficient evidence for each of these alleged crimes.
Informants close to the subject reveal that she may be involved in tax evasion schemes, and suspect that she is also part of an international collaboration responsible for the kidnap of several public figures over the past three years.
IDENTITY CRIME
Subject appears to have a wide range of resources to assist her in both identity fraud and identity theft. Unconfirmed information suggests that Fitzpatrick has access to passport creation equipment, as well as having the necessary computer skills to illegally access several internet banking and share trading and information databases. She is also allegedly adept at forging library memberships.
Suitably impressed
Wow Mike, I'm impressed. Once again, you have astonished me with your technological talents and your creativity. (But please don't use the phrase "break the seal" again, it reminds me of that night in Minsk.)
Too right, Aruba's not as frosty as Siberia, which I remember well. Are you staying at the little place we sheltered in last October? It was quite...cosy, with the two of us, but I imagine it's pretty cold there all on your own. Just remember there's plenty of room in my jacuzzi if you get tired of frostbite.
Anyway, I should be getting started on that report.
Minty xx
Exiled to Aruba
Dear Minty,
How's Aruba? I'm guessing exile there isn't as icy as Siberia, but still, it's gotta hurt. Anyway, thought I should break the seal on this thing. Jump in at any time on how you wanna do this.
Peace out,
Mick
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)